Bridging the Communication Gap
- Arborland
- Mar 4
- 2 min read
What Children Say & What They Mean
Children often express themselves in ways that don’t always match what they truly mean. Their desire for independence, mixed with emotions, stress, and self-discovery, can lead to miscommunication. Here are some common phrases children say and what they might actually mean:
1. “I don’t care!”
What they might mean:
I care, but I don’t want to admit it.
I don’t know how to express my feelings.
I’m afraid of being judged.
How parents can respond: “It seems like something is bothering you. I care about you. I’m here if you want to talk. Let’s talk about what’s bothering you.”
2. “Leave me alone!”
What they might mean:
I need space to process my emotions.
I feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it.
I’m upset, but I’ll talk when I’m ready.
How parents can respond: Give them space, but say: “I want you to know I’m here whenever you need me.”
3. “You don’t understand!”
What they might mean:
I need you to listen without immediately giving advice.
I’m feeling misunderstood, and I want you to see my side.
I feel like my emotions aren’t being taken seriously.
How parents can respond: “Help me understand. I really want to hear what’s on your mind.”
4. “I hate school.”
What they might mean:
I’m struggling with schoolwork or social pressure.
I feel stressed and don’t know how to handle it.
I don’t feel motivated or good enough.
How parents can respond: “What’s making school hard for you? ”Will you help me to understand or should I ask your school?”
5. “I’m fine.”
What they might mean:
I don’t want to talk about it right now, but I might later.
I don’t know how to put my feelings into words.
I don’t want to worry you, even though I’m struggling.
How parents can respond: Give them time but follow up: “I hear you, but if something’s bothering you, I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready.”
6. “Can I go out? (Without many details)”
What they might mean:
I want to go somewhere, but I don’t want you to ask too many questions.
I want independence, but I still need boundaries.
How parents can respond: “Sounds fun! Who will you be with, and what’s the plan? It’s not that I don’t want you to go. I worry about your safety and things people may make you do under pressure.” Teach them that freedom comes with responsibility.
7. “Everyone else is allowed to do it.”
What they might mean:
I feel left out and don’t want to be different from my friends.
I want to understand why we have different rules.
How parents can respond: “I get that it’s frustrating, but we make decisions based on what’s best for you.”
Children do not always communicate clearly, but their words often carry deeper meaning. By listening with patience and responding with empathy, parents can bridge the communication gap and foster trust. Understanding what your child truly means can make all the difference in your relationship.
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